Message on gaydar:
"I am top xxl. 020-6978XXX"
Needless to say no reply from me.
Thursday, 29 October 2009
Thursday, 22 October 2009
Contact at the highest level
You may have missed the news that the Dutch Prime Minister, Jan Peter Balkenende, is on a two-day visit to Singapore and was hosted to lunch by Singapore PM Lee Hsien Loong.
Mr Lee spoke the following words: (excerpt)
SPEECH BY MR LEE HSIEN LOONG, PRIME MINISTER, AT OFFICIAL LUNCH HOSTED IN HONOUR OF PRIME MINISTER OF THE NETHERLANDS HIS EXCELLENCY DR JAN PETER BALKENENDE , 22 OCTOBER 2009, 12:31 PM AT THE ISTANA BANQUET HALL
The bilateral relationship between our two countries is a strong and longstanding one. The Netherlands was among the first countries to recognise Singapore's independence and establish diplomatic relations in 1965. We are also indebted to Dutch economist Dr Albert Winsemius, who provided invaluable and wise advice on economic development and investment policy for many years starting in the 1960s, even before Singapore became independent. On the occasion of Prime Minister Balkenende’s visit, I am pleased to announce that we will be naming one of our public roads after Dr Winsemius, in recognition of his contributions to Singapore.
Today, Singapore and the Netherlands are linked in many ways. Our economic relationship is robust and deep. The Netherlands is our third largest European trading partner. It is also our second largest investor, with over S$50 billion worth of assets in Singapore. This is a remarkable figure, showing that size is no impediment to achieving a considerable economic impact. Almost a thousand Dutch firms operate out of Singapore, adding to our economic vibrancy and diversity. On our part, Singapore has investments worth S$3.1 billion in the Netherlands.
Beyond the economic and security spheres, our people-to-people ties remain strong, anchored by a significant Dutch community in Singapore. Many Dutch citizens contribute to our economy and society, just as Dr Albert Winsemius did a generation ago.
May I now invite you to join me in a toast to the continued good health and success of Your Excellency Prime Minister Balkenende; peace and prosperity for the people of the Kingdom of the Netherlands; and closer relations between the Kingdom of the Netherlands and Singapore.
It is funny that he mentions the "significant Dutch community in Singapore", but chooses to ignore the equally significant Singapore community in the Netherlands. He could have said: "there is also a significant Singapore community in the Netherlands, many of whom are gay men who for various reasons choose to move to the low countries."
Sunday, 18 October 2009
Dutch hope, hamburger with pesto and Spanish in Singapore
Some time ago, MA asked if I wanted to join him and a group of friends to a one-time performance by Freek de Jonge, the surviving half of cabaret duo "Neerlands Hoop" ("Dutch hope") which was very popular in the 1970's and to whose shows I went many times during my high-school years. The theatre was filled with hard-core fans mostly in their 50s and who seemed to know all of the songs and sketches by heart. De Jonge did a great job mixing the old show with contemporary jokes and we all had a good time. I still remember vividly that once, I was on the first row of the theatre in The Hague for one of their performances (must have been around 1978), and he spit in the audience as part of one of the sketches. We all found it very funny then....... but then, these were the wild 70s when we all had long hair and we all dreamt to be free and happy forever.
On Friday I joined MA and HE for drinks in April. HE's ex-bf XX was also there and from the moment we met I could feel there would be drama. XX was drunk and way too touchy-feely with MA and myself, I guess it was his way of getting closer to HE who tried to keep a distance. In the end, there were tears and XX ended up in MA's bear hug for a good 10 minutes. After April we went to Exit Bar and then to Exit which was surprisingly empty. I had had enough but MA wanted to end the night with french fries and he also ordered a hamburger with pesto (??) which we shared and which I regretted the moment I put my teeth in it.
Yesterday I met up with JA who was on a short visit to Amsterdam. He is very happy in Singapore although he lost his job there and is currently looking for something new. I hope he can find something decent soon. Fortunately, he got his PR in Singapore within 8 months after moving there so he has time to make his dreams come true.
On Friday I joined MA and HE for drinks in April. HE's ex-bf XX was also there and from the moment we met I could feel there would be drama. XX was drunk and way too touchy-feely with MA and myself, I guess it was his way of getting closer to HE who tried to keep a distance. In the end, there were tears and XX ended up in MA's bear hug for a good 10 minutes. After April we went to Exit Bar and then to Exit which was surprisingly empty. I had had enough but MA wanted to end the night with french fries and he also ordered a hamburger with pesto (??) which we shared and which I regretted the moment I put my teeth in it.
Yesterday I met up with JA who was on a short visit to Amsterdam. He is very happy in Singapore although he lost his job there and is currently looking for something new. I hope he can find something decent soon. Fortunately, he got his PR in Singapore within 8 months after moving there so he has time to make his dreams come true.
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
A stable mouth
I went to the dentist this morning and after running through my mouth he commented: "looks good, you have a stable mouth". While he was doing his thing, I was thinking if he could see traces of oral activities that I sometimes perform, any dentist reading this please let me know. I have had the same dentist since 1988 - he is my age and we basically are getting older together and most times when he asks "how are you" I reply: "well, six months younger than last time". The comment about the stable mouth came back to me when I read a link that CO posted on Facebook about a new acronym: the Tired's . The article is about young professionals who have their mid-life crisis in their early 30's, "The mid-life crisis is coming earlier and to a broader range of professional people. Once it was the overworked bankers aged 45-50 but now it is happening to lawyers, journalists, teachers and doctors in their 30s"
The two things ("stable mouth" and "mid-life crisis") put together made me reflect on my life: I have (so far) never been down enough to have a mid-life crisis but on the other hand my life is rather stable now - not many really new experiences or adventures. Some friends of mine are adopting babies, making radical career changes, are experimenting with all kinds of drugs, are turning monogamous overnight or are doing other strange things, perhaps I should make an effort to also do something radically new?
Stamp collecting, anyone?
Saturday, 12 September 2009
Nick and Simon
When i was cycling home last week I suddenly heard a lot of girls screaming so I asked someone what was happening. He said "Nick and Simon are performing here tonight" and I thought to myself "who the heck are Nick and Simon". Turns out they are two young musicians who are very popular with the teenage girls, and ofcourse I had never heard about them...... I went to the concert that night and I must say they did a good job and one of them is quite cute. See for yourself.
Thursday, 3 September 2009
OMG: my former boss in the PAP propaganda team
In the Straits Times today: a letter by my former boss who I always thought as a reasonable man......well, apparently he has decided he needs to be elbow-deep with the Sing government......
SINGAPORE may introduce legislation requiring employers to allow part-time work, and carry the cost. As a Dutch citizen whose country has such laws, may I sound a word of caution?
Singapore has built a successful economy partly by holding people responsible for their choices while supporting the needy. In many Western economies, people push the consequences of their decisions on work-life balance, family size and the like to other citizens via welfare, unemployment benefits, childcare subsidies, long paid holidays, long maternity leave and part-time employment. Labour becomes expensive and inflexible. The associated high tax rates remove the incentive to work hard and take risk.
Singapore cannot afford to fall into this welfare trap. It would lose its competitive position both as supplier of goods and services as well as employer of world-class talent.
Putting the burden on employers is unfair. Having children is a personal decision. As part of the national birth rate, it is perhaps a topic of public policy. But never is an employer more than an innocent bystander.
Therefore, if the workplace becomes an instrument of public policy, the cost should be borne by the Government. That cost is considerable: Capital (machinery, office space) is used less efficiently if tasks are shared between staff.
Another cost is lower flexibility of part-timers. People work part-time because they have other commitments they either must or want to honour.
To have sufficient capacity, an employer will need more full-time employees when using part-timers, as opposed to asking full-timers to work longer sometimes and take time off later as compensation.
Finally, why seek higher birth rates as the reason? The world population is already too large. Global warming, food shortages and pollution are problems partly caused by population pressure. Ageing populations are not an evil to be battled. They are an unavoidable adjustment process to reduce the world population.
Take Singapore. A population of almost five million is already an ambitious target. What is the purpose of making a large part of the population semi-redundant so they can grow the population, mainly to grow an economy which we have first shrunk by allowing people to work part-time?
A smaller number of fully employed people must be the better option.
Wilfred Frederik Nagel
SINGAPORE may introduce legislation requiring employers to allow part-time work, and carry the cost. As a Dutch citizen whose country has such laws, may I sound a word of caution?
Singapore has built a successful economy partly by holding people responsible for their choices while supporting the needy. In many Western economies, people push the consequences of their decisions on work-life balance, family size and the like to other citizens via welfare, unemployment benefits, childcare subsidies, long paid holidays, long maternity leave and part-time employment. Labour becomes expensive and inflexible. The associated high tax rates remove the incentive to work hard and take risk.
Singapore cannot afford to fall into this welfare trap. It would lose its competitive position both as supplier of goods and services as well as employer of world-class talent.
Putting the burden on employers is unfair. Having children is a personal decision. As part of the national birth rate, it is perhaps a topic of public policy. But never is an employer more than an innocent bystander.
Therefore, if the workplace becomes an instrument of public policy, the cost should be borne by the Government. That cost is considerable: Capital (machinery, office space) is used less efficiently if tasks are shared between staff.
Another cost is lower flexibility of part-timers. People work part-time because they have other commitments they either must or want to honour.
To have sufficient capacity, an employer will need more full-time employees when using part-timers, as opposed to asking full-timers to work longer sometimes and take time off later as compensation.
Finally, why seek higher birth rates as the reason? The world population is already too large. Global warming, food shortages and pollution are problems partly caused by population pressure. Ageing populations are not an evil to be battled. They are an unavoidable adjustment process to reduce the world population.
Take Singapore. A population of almost five million is already an ambitious target. What is the purpose of making a large part of the population semi-redundant so they can grow the population, mainly to grow an economy which we have first shrunk by allowing people to work part-time?
A smaller number of fully employed people must be the better option.
Wilfred Frederik Nagel
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
Filial piety
I was procrastinating at work today, and surfing randomly when I remembered expatsingapore.com where I sometimes hung out before and during the early days of my time in Singapore. I stumbled upon this post and started thinking about the difference between Western and Asian relationships between parents and children.
Quote:
I am Chinese but have never really embraced my culture. Having lived abroad and now in a relationship with a Western man and having friends from all over the world, I am no longer fully in touch with the Chinese values.
I am getting married soon and recently I had a quarrel with my mother because she was upset that I hadn't thought about booking accomodation for the entire family for the wedding (my family live in Malaysia). I would have paid anyway but because I didn't want to create an expectation, I wasn't going to say anything until the bill was presented.
She then brought up the fact that I had never given my parents a cent despite the fact that I "earn so much". (Conveniently forgetting the expensive presents when I visit (admittedly not often) and me giving her every single cent in my savings account after taking out only enough money to cover living expenses for a few weeks when I decided to move abroad for work. And she reminded me that so and so booked the entire resort for their family when they got married....
I am upset of course with her implying that I was an ungrateful daughter but I'd like to find out whether I have broken a tradition or failed an obligation - and whether this would apply in a Western as well as an Eastern culture.
Frankly, my fiance's parents would never have expected us to pay for them to come and they are flying in from Europe and they even offered to contribute towards the wedding expenses, but we said that there was no need although we were grateful for the offer. They are a lot less well-off than my parents. But then again, maybe they are an exception rather than the norm...
Unquote
My first reaction was that the poster's mother is a terrible bitch, however reading the other posts in the thread I remembered the differences between Western and Asian parents, and the concept of filial piety that is so important in Asian (especially Chinese) culture. In somewhat general terms, filial piety means to be good to one's parents; to take care of one's parents; to engage in good conduct not just towards parents but also outside the home so as to bring a good name to one's parents and ancestors; to perform the duties of one's job well so as to obtain the material means to support parents as well as carry out sacrifices to the ancestors; not be rebellious; show love, respect and support;display courtesy; ensure male heirs, uphold fraternity among brothers; wisely advise one's parents, including dissuading them from moral unrighteousness; display sorrow for their sickness and death; and carry out sacrifices after their death.
I also remembered that my friend ED is thinking about getting a girlfriend; and AR has recently proposed to his girlfriend - even though they are as gay as Elton John. I suspect (no, I know) the influence of the parents is definitely there.
I am not going to judge them, or others when they act according to what apparently is such a strong culture influence.
My mom and stepdad were here this weekend and I spent two full days of "quality time" with them. They accept me for what I am, and for that I love them and will always treasure my time with them, as long as they live. Money doesn't come into the equation - my parents had my brothers and me because they wanted to have children, not as some kind of pension fund for their future.
Again, I do not judge other systems, but in my cultural context I am glad I was born in the Western system.
Quote:
I am Chinese but have never really embraced my culture. Having lived abroad and now in a relationship with a Western man and having friends from all over the world, I am no longer fully in touch with the Chinese values.
I am getting married soon and recently I had a quarrel with my mother because she was upset that I hadn't thought about booking accomodation for the entire family for the wedding (my family live in Malaysia). I would have paid anyway but because I didn't want to create an expectation, I wasn't going to say anything until the bill was presented.
She then brought up the fact that I had never given my parents a cent despite the fact that I "earn so much". (Conveniently forgetting the expensive presents when I visit (admittedly not often) and me giving her every single cent in my savings account after taking out only enough money to cover living expenses for a few weeks when I decided to move abroad for work. And she reminded me that so and so booked the entire resort for their family when they got married....
I am upset of course with her implying that I was an ungrateful daughter but I'd like to find out whether I have broken a tradition or failed an obligation - and whether this would apply in a Western as well as an Eastern culture.
Frankly, my fiance's parents would never have expected us to pay for them to come and they are flying in from Europe and they even offered to contribute towards the wedding expenses, but we said that there was no need although we were grateful for the offer. They are a lot less well-off than my parents. But then again, maybe they are an exception rather than the norm...
Unquote
My first reaction was that the poster's mother is a terrible bitch, however reading the other posts in the thread I remembered the differences between Western and Asian parents, and the concept of filial piety that is so important in Asian (especially Chinese) culture. In somewhat general terms, filial piety means to be good to one's parents; to take care of one's parents; to engage in good conduct not just towards parents but also outside the home so as to bring a good name to one's parents and ancestors; to perform the duties of one's job well so as to obtain the material means to support parents as well as carry out sacrifices to the ancestors; not be rebellious; show love, respect and support;display courtesy; ensure male heirs, uphold fraternity among brothers; wisely advise one's parents, including dissuading them from moral unrighteousness; display sorrow for their sickness and death; and carry out sacrifices after their death.
I also remembered that my friend ED is thinking about getting a girlfriend; and AR has recently proposed to his girlfriend - even though they are as gay as Elton John. I suspect (no, I know) the influence of the parents is definitely there.
I am not going to judge them, or others when they act according to what apparently is such a strong culture influence.
My mom and stepdad were here this weekend and I spent two full days of "quality time" with them. They accept me for what I am, and for that I love them and will always treasure my time with them, as long as they live. Money doesn't come into the equation - my parents had my brothers and me because they wanted to have children, not as some kind of pension fund for their future.
Again, I do not judge other systems, but in my cultural context I am glad I was born in the Western system.
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