A sunny day on the beach

I spent most of yesterday on the beach with the gang - it was a national holiday here (the last one until Christmas!) and the weather was perfect for sun, sand and sangria. We had been partying on Sunday night, so most of the gang fell asleep which gave me a chance to read my book while keeping an eye on a group of boys playing football.
Sunday night finally DAZ came to the bar - ever since he is playing dad to his two children he hardly comes out. It was good to catch up with him and getting to know his boyfriend who turns out to be a nice guy. Also, TD who used to be my hairdresser before I knew OS made an appearance. It is amazing how he can look like 35 when he is in his early 50s. Me jealous.....
So now it is work with no special holidays until Christmas. Well, I have some 4 weeks of vacation left this year which will be put to excellent use.

Bingo

It is a beautiful weekend here, weather-wise, so when KE called yesterday afternoon if I wanted to join him at Spijker Bar my first reaction was no. Come on, it is not like it is always sunny here so why disappear into one of the darkest bars on a sunny afternoon. On second thought, however, it has been such a long time that I was in Spijker I decided to join him. They had a bingo game on so we all joined and played. Bingo is, of course, normally associated with old ladies in retirement homes, but it was also fun to play it with a group of gay men.
After the game ended, we decided to enjoy the sun some more on a terrace. One of KE's friends, KH joined. He is a nice Irishman - just one negative about him is that he talks with a lot of saliva leaving his mouth......
When I got home SA called and came for a few drinks (the Porto freshly imported from Portugal served us well). An unexpectedly nice day.
Now I am waiting for MI from Toronto to call - he is in Amsterdam for only 4 hours this morning (he is boarding a cruise ship here) and it would be great to see him after... what? eight years?

Beautiful Portugal

The trip to Portugal was very nice. The scenery was great, especially the grapevines in the region of the Douro river (where the Port wine is produced) and in the extreme North East of the country, which is very sparsely populated and "rough". Furthermore, every town and village had some nice church or castle, the food was simple but good, the wines excellent and everything (very) cheap. A beer for 70 cents and a 3-course meal with wine for 4 for 60 euro!
Somehow I didn't travel much in Europe during the last 10 years or so, which is a shame as there is so much to see and enjoy here so close to home.

Eurovision song contest 2009 winner: Alexander Rybak from Norway

A cute guy with a cute song.

Going to Portugal

In a few hours I will be going to the airport to fly to Porto, where we will rent a car and drive around Northern Portugal for a week. Like last year, I am taking my mom, stepfather and OS on a trip. We'll sleep in Pousadas (historical buildings turned into hotels) which should be nice.
I was sick and tired of work yesterday so it will be good to switch off for a week.

Relationships

Someone sent me this:

Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr. /Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love". I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love.

Though this may sound "not politically correct", there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone". You need a lot more!!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION 1: Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage:
(1) You can grow together, or
(2) You can grow apart.
50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line; and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION 2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this
person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION 3: Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you
test? Here are some suggestions.
Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
Are they serious about improving themselves?
A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right". So ask your significant other what do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth, and
(2) People who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION 4: How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?
To measure this, think about the following:
· How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.
· How do they treat their parents and siblings?
Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION 5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse". If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; so be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

I fully agree with the reasoning after questions 2, 4 and 5, and mostly agree with 1 and 3.

The end of blogging

During the last few years, I was a regular reader of some of my friends' blogs. However, it seems that the fashion for blogging has evaporated as quickly as it emerged.
DA from SF informed me he has closed his blog, he says: "don't have many things to write about and it is time to move to other projects."
Sgboy has password-protected his blog, and it seems that ever since he met his fairy tale (and he supposedly is monogamous) he doesn't know what to write about.
AgentX hasn't updated his blog in a long time, but he is very active on Facebook just like CO from SIN, so these people seem to have replaced blogging by Facebooking.
So that leaves just AR from OZ who is as active as before in blog-land.
As for myself, we'll see.....