Biking home today I remembered a line from Queer as folk: "It is bad to go home alone after a night out - but it is much worse to go home alone when your best friend is not alone". More in general, I think one's happiness depends to some extent on the relative happiness compared to one's friends, so I was thinking about the lifes of some of my (gay) friends compared to mine:
Friend nr. 1: Early 40's, single now and has been single all his life. Owns a nice apartment. He has a busy, good job and an extremely busy social life (culture, sports, dinners, trips,...) with mostly straight (many female) friends. He has very little (almost no) sex - he doesn't like gay bars, doesn't do on-line dating, he still hopes to meet the man of his life at work or at a birthday party.
Friend nr. 2: Mid 40's, partnered for more than 20 years, he and his boyfriend match well and I think they are happy together. They own a nice, large house. My friend and his bf don't have sex anymore, my friend travels to various European cities regularly for sex parties (his bf knows). He has an OK job, and a nice social network: trips, dinners, culture,...
Friend nr. 3: Late 30's, single now. He has odd little jobs only, lives with his mother. He has the most interesting sex life of all my friends: I think he has more sex than all my other friends together. Social life is OK I think.
Friend nr. 4 : Late 40's, partnered for more than 15 years, he and his bf have not much in common and don't have sex anymore. He owns a nice apartment. This friend is co-owner of a successful business, busy job, and has an OK social life. Travels twice a year to another continent where he has a lover - these 6 weeks a year are the highlights of his year.
Friend nr. 5: Early 50's, single now after a few relationships. In his own words: "I am not good at relationships, I better stay single". Owns a small apartment. Has an interesting job. OK social network. Considered attractive and is enjoying his sex life again.
Friend nr. 6: Late 40's. He and his bf are partnered for some 20 years. They adopted a child. Own a nice house. Good, busy job. Very, very busy social life with family and friends. Not sure if he and his bf still have sex - probably not. Don't think he has sex elsewhere either.
Not sure why I wrote this. :-) I guess nobody's situation is perfect. and I don't have to be jealous of any of these friends. :-)